PROLOGUE
This story needs no grand introduction; it’s just a poem about a guy, his girl, and his canoe. I answered a classified ad about a canoe for sale in 2014. The ad brought me to an elderly couple’s home in Wildcat Canyon outside of Durango. Naturally, I asked the gentleman about his canoe and their history together; that history is more or less condensed below.
This story, this poem, is about my maiden voyage in my new canoe – a five-day trip through the Goosenecks on the San Juan River with Amanda in my bow. My boat was named after Amanda and I pointed her down the tongue of a healthy-CFS-Class III Government Rapid in June of that same summer. The water was big that day, and we took a huge lateral wave at the top of the rapid that seriously compromised our position by rapid’s end; but I’ll be damned if we didn’t stay upright and safely paddle our boat to shore – underwater. Honestly, rigged to flip, we were two heads bobbing in the water, paddling underwater. But we made it. We fought the Government and won.
VIVA LA REVOLUCION
By Aaron Unterreiner
There once was a man who loved his boat.
He bought it brand-new in the ’70s, and together they learned to float.
They boated the Dolores and the San Juan.
They played on my favorite rivers before I ever turned one.
It once was buried alive on the Ruby Horse.
And true to its name, the river produced a thief to waylay its course.
When Old Man Rescue returned to see a horse about a canoe,
What he found turned himself an entirely new shade of blue.
You see, another crew sprung that canoe from the lou.
But a little birdie told Old Man Rescue who.
It was a guide from Grand Junction.
So Old Man Recovery called to check his function.
But when the guide ducked his calls,
Old Man Recovery showed some balls.
He drove from here to there with a 30-rack and a mission:
He hopped a fence, dropped the beer, fought off a dog
and commandeered his expedition.
Several years later, this Old Towner became too heavy for the old-timer.
So he placed an ad in the paper,
And I swung by, took one good look and said, “I’ll take her.”
Shortly thereafter, we made our maiden voyage on the Goosenecks.
With Amanda beautiful in the bow,
We rowed three days to Government Rapid and said, “OH WOW.”
The Government gave us its best shot – a quick left, counter with the right,
Attacking us head-on with a waveful of might.
We took on water, and it tried to sink us.
But calm, cool, collected and without fuss …
We had our fun.
We fought the Government and won.
Viva La Revolucíon.